Why is fast food so damn fattening?
I see why people patronize fast food restaurants, and I've certainly been guilty of doing so. It's quick, kids love that shit, and when you're finished, even if you got it to go and took it home, cleanup consists of wadding up the wrappers and bags and throwing them in the rubbish. But does it really taste good?
I had an experience a couple of months ago. What the hell, I'm not doing anything, might as well relate it for the existential crackhead incident it was. So, there's this woman that lives in a small apartment complex about 1/8 of a mile from my house. Let's call her "Kathy." She knew my neighbors, socialized with them quite a bit at one point, and then the neighbor woman ran her off after getting the impression Kathy was hitting on the husband while neighbor woman was at work.
Kathy's dad lives in this same neighborhood; in fact, Kathy passes my house on her many walking trips to her father's house, and I've occasionally waved to her and her very bratty daughter, aged somewhere between 8 - 11.
One day, about noon, someone knocked the hell out of my front door. It was Kathy, and she was practically crying because she had an awful toothache, her ride to the dentist had backed out, today was the last appointment she could get because she'd had to cancel a couple of times, etc, would I please take her to the dentist? It was only a few miles away, so I thought I'd be a nice person (and I learned my lesson).
Now, Kathy is rotund. From the thighs down, she isn't big at all -- and maybe this is because she walks to her dad's house a million times a day (good for her, maybe). Kathy was so grateful for the ride, she offered to treat me to lunch with one of her free "sammich" coupons from McDonald's. Um, after about an hour and a half to two hours at her dentist, she exited with a mouth full of gauze (they'd pulled the offending tooth, which looked to be about a cuspid, fairly close to the front), and doing that spitting sort of thing people do when they've just been to the dentist. She wanted to stop at MickeyD's on the return trip, but I had, quite frankly, no desire to eat a meal with this woman and her "look at my toof - is it still bleeding?" mouth. I tried the diplomatic route, that it would be inconsiderate for me to eat when she wouldn't be able to due to the extraction. But hell no, she wanted to eat. So we pulled into the lot, to find the drive-thru was closed for construction. I insisted I wanted nothing, and Kathy went into the place, then came out with a couple of bags and a tray with a large soda and some sort of shake with a dome lid.
Then Kathy asked me to stop at Meijer, so she could get her antibiotic prescription filled for free. OK, it was on the way. I'm so fucking nice. After waiting about 30 minutes, Kathy informed me it was taking too long and asked me to take her down the street to CVS for their 15-minute express pharmacy or whatever. Ok, get in the car. Um, first, she wanted to pick up a couple of things there at Meijer. So I waited in the car. We went to CVS, and I guess it was within the time, but at this point, it was 4 fucking 30 and I was tired of her ass. I dropped her off at her apartment, where bratty daughter was waiting outside, as her bus had dropped her off 10 minutes earlier. Bye!
But wait. Around 7 that evening, Kathy showed up at my door. Her prescription at Meijer -- wtf? what was CVS about? -- was ready, and some church friend of hers was unable to pick it up for her. Oh, part of the deal with the dentist appointment was that a local church had written a check to that dentist for Kathy's dental work, because she's poor. This is why she had to go to that dentist. So Kathy begged me to take her to Meijer again, and I didn't want this fucking drama in my life. But then her friend called, and he had the prescription and was waiting in front of her apartment, and Kathy still wanted to buy me a sammich with her coupons (how many did she have?) and when I tried to beg off she wanted to do it tomorrow, so I thought, what the hell, get it over with.
This time we went to the McD's closest to my house. Kathy wanted to do an electronic application for employment, but after trying to help her dumb ass with that for 10 minutes, I told her the computer was broken, that the error (she couldn't type in her fucking email address) indicated a network error. I'm not going to hell because I don't believe in hell. So she moseys over to the counter -- there was no line at this time -- and starts quizzing the employees as to what she can get with her coupon.
And I thought, what the hell, where's the damn sandwiches? Kathy had "sammich" coupons, so I had assumed McD's had something like ham sandwiches (I guess those are Arby's commercials) but all they were good for was fucking burgers. It had been years since I'd been to a McDonald's, so I just said I'd take a Big Mac, because those are delicious, aren't they? Kathy just kept sliding the upper part of her body down and back on the stainless steel counter, and a fucking line formed behind her, to which she was oblivious. She'd already been to one McD's... Finally, she ordered whatever, plus fries and a drink. The tab was about $3. Good for her. But no, I did not want to share her fries after seeing her grubby hands fingering them. Plus, I was trying not to look at her face with her fucked up teeth.
On the way out, she wanted to get a shake and something for her kid. So she ordered, they started making the shit, and her fucking debit card (or more likely, food stamp card) didn't have enough to cover it, so I gave her about $3. Whatever. I paid for my own Big Mac, and it didn't even taste very good. Kathy swore she'd pay me back. But then, she wanted to stop at Deal$ for ibuprofen. By this time, it was 10 o-fucking-clock, and I told her Deal$ was closed, so we went to the damn Dollar General behind McD. Kathy put the cashier there through hell getting her the best quantity for what ended up being MY money -- $2.06. And then this freak demanded I let her use my cell phone to call her 20-year-old daughter, who had taken the younger daughter to the mall for the evening. I informed her it was a prepay, and she'd be busting my dollar and racking up 10 cents a minute, but she huffed that she would pay me back, and at this point, I felt like I was in a David Lynch movie. She ran out of the store without even taking her Advil. When I caught up in the parking lot, she was SCFEAMING into the phone that CPS would take the kid away AGAIN. Sweet fucking tea, what did I get into here? Kathy said the girls were both at her dad's, the street down from mine, so we went there. On the way, Kathy stuffed her prescription bottle from her purse into my glove box and rambled about how no one needed to know it was there. Grandpa was outside when we got there, and started yelling "where the FUCK have you been? OUT BUYING DRUGS???!!!!" While I sat in the car, Kathy tried to sweet talk her dad, saying it was her birthday the next day, while he kept yelling at her not to set foot in his house. The older daughter said, "if her present is cash, you better not give it to her." Could this be any trashier? Her present ended up being a carton of cigs.
So while I was driving this trick home (I KNOW, I'm an idiot), Kathy coached the younger daughter as to what to say to the police and her dad when we got there.
The next day, this crazy pillhead pounded on my door again, and I told her I can't help her. She yelled that what the older daughter and dad said were lies, blah blah, but I just told her to leave and closed the door.
Moral of the story #1 - FUCK thinking you're helping people out. This bitch probably fucked her own tooth up to get pain pills. And I was too stupid to see what was happening. Probably her church was fucking stupid, too.
Moral of the story #2 - Mc Donald's LOVES fucking addicts. I was not impressed with that Big Mac at all. That was about 750 calories that I will never get back. And this bitch ate MickeyD's TWICE in one damn day. She deserves a heart attack, or 5. She certainly deserves to be a fatass.
Like I said, I hadn't been to McDonald's in a long time before this incident. I'm inclined to think I will never eat there again.
Taco HELL is another story.
This week, I made burritos at home. I used about 1/4 lb of ground sirloin, cooked it with some onion and some tacobell seasoning I had bought for 30 cents at meijer. I made 2 burrito meals with that amount of burger, some shredded lettuce, beans, a sprinkle of cheese, and some hot salsa. I didn't calculate the calories, but it was probably acceptable for a diet situation. And since I don't go to the Rachel Ray school of cheese, I'm sure I used far less than my heroes at Taco Hell, but the burritos tasted pretty good, with stronger flavors.
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